We Accept the Love We Think We Deserve

I think I am one of those girls who can truly and fully relate with Gigi Haim from 'He is just not that into you'. To those who has yet to watch the film, please do and I think it is one of those movie that leaves the woman do a little self reflection and hopefully make a better decision after that. 

I hope I am not the only one who feels that way where someone claim to be interested in you and out of the sudden that person disappears and you kept wondering what went wrong??? WHAT DID YOU DO?!! Lots of self evaluating moment and worse, trying really hard to fix the 'wrong' you think you made. Why do woman do that? Really, why? Why are we often left behind wondering not what's wrong with them but what is so wrong with ourselves. 

If you have a good guy mate, he will be very honest with you and tell you exactly what you need to hear no matter how harsh the truth is aka you are the general rule, you are not the exception. 

He is not shy or busy.

He is not intimidated by you.

He does'nt think that you are too good for him.

He knows how he feels and he knows how to express them, just not to you.

HE IS JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU.

“If he’s not calling you, it’s because you are not on his mind. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn’t follow through on little things, he will do same for big things. Be aware of this and realize that he’s okay with disappointing you. Don’t be with someone who doesn’t do what they say they’re going to do. If he’s choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn’t respect your feelings and needs. “Busy” is another word for “a*” “A*” is another word for the guy you’re dating. You deserve a f* phone call.” 

-Greg Behrendt-

Girlfriends being girls are forever sweet and kind to our weak heart. They try to sugar coat everythinnnggg to make us feel less pathetic thus making us extremely forgiving because of the 'he does'nt mean it' idea. 

When you watch the movie, you might think that Gigi is just being overly dramatic but the truth is, many woman out there are like that. Overly obsessive over the next day call, the reply..... especially when he says '' I will call you."

Why do we constantly fall for man who just do not accept us the way we are. Growing up, I was told to be a certain way because that is the only way man will accept me and if they don't accept me, that is me behaving wrongly. No i am not even talking about bad habits, I am talking about all these being demure and sweet and attractive'. How is it our fault for being true to ourselves?

I was even told by my own brother "YOU CAN'T BE FUNNY!!! Stop being so funny. Guys don't like funny girls."

The truth is, I know very well it is not my fault when a douche acts as a douche but why do I still feel so pathetic and sad for myself and more importantly, questioning my worth. 

A friend told me there could be two side of this coin.

1) He likes me lots but knowing that he can't be with me, he rather be cold with me and pull himself away so that he will not be hurt.

2) He likes me, can't get me. KTHXSBAI.

I feel like our friendship was a lie? The times when he was nice to me was just a ploy. I felt cheated, I felt played. I thought hey this is a nice guy and then he just walkaway and bail on plans or just ignore me upfront and it feels really horrible for me because I don't understand how things can escalate so quickly? Many said it could be the 1st reason but I really don't see it. I just feel played and my worth is only to be own and if you can't get it then I am not even worth being friends with. 

Why do we let people like that get into us? Why do we care and makes excuses over and over again for people like that? Well, how about no? How about for once, we just tell ourselves that this is not how we deserve to be treated no matter how justifiable you may be.

D is one of the most amazing and gallant person I know. We have nothing on and neither does he treats me any extra nice but just as any decent human being, he has always and always been kind to me and he is the most SHY person I have ever known and yet he tries to make jokes, to engage in conversation and to get back to me asap and that my friend, is a decent human being. Are we bff? not remotely close to that but he puts guys out there to shame. So yes, people like that are rare but truth to be told, they exist. 

F is definitely one who loves me even more after knowing me. Possibly the one who finds my neurotic and slightly psychotic side to be attractive... this leaves me wondering, what is wrong with him ><

When I say love, I am not even talking about relationship kind of love but friendship. Don't try to keep them around you, if they try then perhaps but just don't hope on that. 

You don't deserve this kind of love. A person who leave you guessing how he feels is not worth having around. If he wants you, he would make it clear that he does.

xoxo

“What a treacherous thing it is to believe that a person is more than a person.”

- John Green, Paper Towns-